Today I am going to talk a little about everything.
First, I feel terrible that I haven’t blogged in a long time. The reason was simply, “Nothing new happened in my writing life, so why write in my blog?” And yes, nothing DID happen.
My husband and I have been married for almost 9 months. We’re nearing the end of “newly weds” but I think we’re still lingering in our honeymoon stage. Life with Adam is wonderful. We are constantly learning more about one another and though we do have our lows, we have many highs. But it’s still work. It will always take work to keep a good marriage knit together. As long as we keep God as our foundation and our constant Friend and Savior, and we strive to serve and love Him, our marriage will flourish. Of that I am confident.
College has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I have a clear understanding of where I want my education to go. After my verification from Veteran’s Affairs (that I do indeed have my husband’s GI Bill benefits) which will take another 4 weeks before I hear anything, I will be applying at Thomas Nelson Community College (TNCC). The next three or so years of my life will be spent working on my associates degree in L.A. English, while balancing home, family, and friends. Next, I will transfer to Christopher Newport University (CNU) to get my bachelors in English Literature. That’s all 99.9% certain, and then there is the question of, “What will I do when I’m nearing the end of homeschooling our future kids?” Well, I could go on and get my masters, and then even a doctorate!
I’d LOVE to be called Dr. Ross.
Volunteering at the hospital is growing. It’s not what I enjoy the most, but I am seeing benefits to it. I have an opportunity to work on a newsletter with another volunteer. That will provide more experience in writing and publication, since I have never worked on one before. But this project is not going to be an easy job. It will take time and work. How I will add this and balance it in my life is a question that is rolling around in my mind.
My house is not as clean as it could be. My parents are visiting tomorrow and I have barely just begun to get things ready for them, other than grocery shopping!
Our primary Bible Study is splitting. We have grown too big for a good small group. Trust me, 24 plus people is not a small group! Adam and I will be switched over to the couples group and I am excited about it. It is going to benefit us greatly to be able to interact more with fellow strong, Christian couples. We will be encouraged and encourage in turn.
And then throw children in the midst of everything sometime and suddenly the busyness has turned into a hurricane – one of those good hurricanes 😉 FYI, we are NOT expecting.
Hanging out with friends, going to church, working on finances, planning for our future – it’s a lot.
The point: where are my priorities?
Adam brought this to my attention about a week or so ago, and it has stuck in my head like a sticky-note plastered on my forehead. I had asked him why, if I love writing so much, I don’t do much of it at all anymore? His answer was short and to the point: it’s not a priority. I fought against that. Of course writing was a priority! It was a part of my life! It had changed from hobby to job years ago! Yet I couldn’t get his statement out of my head.
So I thought about it for some time, knowing that I needed to list what I found I needed to do, as opposed to what I wanted to do. What shocked me (and what broke my heart) was that writing was at the bottom of that list.
“How on earth did that happen??” I wondered, staring at the piece of paper wishing that “writing” would magically appear near the top.
Well, for one, I got married. That in itself shifts priorities. I am pulled in many directions, trying to decide which is most important to accomplish, and though the need and want to write is clawing away at my mind and soul, normal house duties call me away from it.
The truth is that I really do want to write. Every single day, for hours – just like I did when all I had on my plate was high school and writing. I recall the emotions that swept through me each time I sat down and wrote. Joy, sorrow, pain – any emotion I gave to my characters I felt myself. It literally wore me out. I remember a few occasions when I couldn’t eat right after writing. I had to wait for my emotions to calm and my mind to relax.
I miss those days.
How do I get them back?
Plainly, I will not be able to have as much time and freedom like I did when I was fourteen. Life has truly changed all that. But I am not going to accept that life has changed so much that I have little to no time for writing.
Maybe I can’t write for hours every day. Maybe I can’t even write for one hour. But in order to keep it fresh in my mind I need to continuously dwell on my stories. Already, since Adam first brought this to my attention, I have jotted down a few ideas for my work. I’m beginning to think about my characters more often than before.
If I can write one paragraph, edit one section, jot down one or two ideas, or even recall to mind what my people look like and talk like every day, I believe I can slip back into writing with less trouble than before. I simply need to start.
It’s all about priorities. I used to think that a priority was what I wanted, not actually what I found that needed to be done. Is cleaning my house a priority? Yes, but I don’t want to clean it. Is writing a priority? No, not yet, but I daily want to focus my time and energy on it.
One other thing I need to remember. This doesn’t happen overnight. It will take time. And as time keeps moving on, more things will be added to my life, and some things will be removed. It’s all about keeping my priorities straight and making writing a priority again.
That’s what I’m going *try* to do.