Yes, for those who have not yet seen on Facebook, I am pregnant. Be prepared to read a lot more baby posts – this is brand new to me!
First of all, I pride myself in knowing how to care for children, but I forgot about the caring for baby before he/she is even born. Until now, somehow I believed that pregnancy was easy. Sure, there’s the morning sickness. There’s the bloating. And there’s the other uncomfortable symptoms that disrupt daily life. But, come on, it’s BABY!
But now I’m the one pregnant and experiencing firsthand what millions of other women have experienced, and will continue to experience. Makes me sound like a crybaby when I start complaining about how icky I feel.
In some ways I’m hesitant in sharing my thoughts. After all, I am the queen of babysitting. I should know everything when it comes to babies. But, I am the youngest in my family, so I never watched my mom go through a pregnancy. The friends and relatives around me who went through this nine month process all seemed like troopers, and I never bothered to ask questions.
So, I will admit it. I am so lost. Now let me share with you how I actually feel about this, and then you will come to understand that I am completely clueless when it comes to pregnancy.
College spring semester is wrapping up in about a month (thank God!), and the last few weeks have been absolutely crazy with the house. Renovations upon renovations. The ceilings of the spare bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, and dining room were all torn down, including a wall and patches. Just last week we hired a team to come in and drywall everything for us, and then the very next two days we primed the walls. Everything was carefully scheduled. It all had to be done by Monday so that the assessor could come through our house.
(We’re not selling our house, but we are going through the process of refinancing. Fun stuff, huh?)
So, like I said, everything was so nicely scheduled. Until Thursday morning….
Nothing like dropping a huge bomb into our nice little family of two. Well, at that time the huge bomb was the size of a tadpole.
For a woman who has always wanted a baby, and couldn’t wait for that wonderful confirmation, I’ve been in complete shock for almost a week now. It’s overwhelming. And freaky. And overwhelming. Again. Yes, it was exciting, and it IS exciting. But most of all it’s overwhelming. It did not come at the wrong time, because God’s timing is always the right time, but it certainly messed up our week.
And, after all the calls and announcements were made and the repeated, “Oh, I’m doing pretty well. Just feel tired” comments to people, I get hit with the most dreaded of all symptoms that reminds me for sure that there is a baby inside, messing up my stomach. Just when the house gets finished and I think that I have ample time to get my schoolwork finished, nausea visits with bags packed and that look of, “That was so nice of you to invite me. No, I’m not sure how long I will be staying.” I run to the internet and read up on nausea and see that, though most women deal with it the first trimester, some women get it throughout their entire pregnancy. My heart drops and I take a swig of Ginger Ale.
Yet, throughout these complaints, I honestly am happy and thrilled that I’m having a baby. It’s when I start thinking that it’s MY baby, and that I’m responsible for the little helpless human, I start to get scared. This is all so new to me, and I take comfort that women all over the world deal with it. My body is changing so much and it’s all happened so fast – I really can’t be blamed for freaking out a little bit.
I’ll get used to this soon – maybe with my second pregnancy! But, in the meantime, I need to share the craziness.
And right now, if my estimate is right, our lil baby is the size of a blueberry. Now isn’t that crazy?