The Waiting Game

I hit 40 weeks yesterday. It was a nice milestone to reach, and I was in a great mood all day. I knew that Michael could come any moment, but also knew that he could come much later than I would want. But I felt good about it. Today, however, not so much.

Last week Thursday I finished up my math. I took my exam (which was painful and I know will not get a good grade) and then picked my mom up at the airport. She will be here helping me out till close to or until Christmas. Dad will be down for a bit to pick her up after visiting with us and meeting Michael — whenever that will be!

Last week Friday I finished up NaNoWriMo. I made it to my goal and then enjoyed a movie, which I have not been able to do for a very long time. The two big things that I needed to get done before Michael came were wrapped up. The stress levels slowly went down, though it took me almost a full week before getting used to not having something really important to work on. Since then, today has been a day where Mom and I actually have not gone out somewhere. We’ve been running errands every day, and today we focused a bit more on getting the house picked up or prepped.

According to my 39 week appointment, Michael was/is very low and I am basically ready to pop this baby out. The midwife said that all we were waiting for were contractions. Well, days went by and nothing happened. Finally, almost a week later, contractions started but were very irregular and at first very difficult to even determine if they were contractions. Last night I was finally able to time them, and they sat between 10-15 minutes but no change in intensity. I figured that I would get a bit of sleep and if they were real I would wake up to them, and turns out I had a normal night and woke up this morning with zero contractions.

So, now it’s nearing the end of the day with, so far, no to very tiny hardly noticeable contractions. As the day progressed, so has my impatience and discouragement. I liked knowing that my body was at least doing prep work. I was not discouraged that the contractions were not getting stronger last night because I knew that practice ones were just as important. However, since my body is doing really nothing now, I’m back to feeling like this baby is going to take forever to come. It is very hard to be patient, even though I know that he will eventually come, that it will be in God’s timing, and that I am going to be so incredibly happy when he finally does pop. And anyway, he’s running out of room.

So, here I play the horrible waiting game. I’ve never been good at waiting. I’ve always felt that soon meant very soon, not — in this case — next few hours OR in two weeks. When I set my mind to something I expect it to happen now. It really is horrible, and I try so hard to work on being a more patient person.

Now, I understand that labor can come on quickly, or it can come in a week or two weeks. I know there is no way to truly know until you’re actually in it. So, maybe tonight is the night — or two weeks from now. I can only wait and see. And wait. And keep on waiting. And wait some more.

Thankfully, I’ve got Mom here to help keep me company, and we have some movies we can watch. We even have some baking ideas for Christmas planned, which will probably start next week if I don’t go into labor over the weekend.

The point is, Operation: Mommy Patiently Waits For Michael To Come is not going as smoothly as she would like.

Hmm… time to see about dinner.

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