What You Thought You Didn’t Have

This will probably be a quick post since I’m typing with dinner in the oven and a rather crabby baby on my hands (or sitting in his Bumbo seat trying to get his toys). However, I wanted to talk about something that crossed my mind earlier.

First of all, to the guys who read this, please don’t think I’m saying we women got it worse than you, or we know how to handle things better, or any of that. This is from my perspective and mine alone. I’m not a guy, so I can’t tell you how you feel as a father.

To give a bit of quick background, Michael is teething. He’s going through phases of being really crabby and drooling all over the place, and then being the happiest kid on the block.

Now, no woman knows how much she can handle, endure, and deal with until she has a baby.

Wow. I never knew just how much patience, self-control, endurance, and energy (or the ability to ignore sleep and tiredness long enough for the day) I had before Michael was born. And it only increases.

Michael was starting to sleep from 7:30-8 to 7 in the morning, but lately he’s dropped that and will wake up for a snack between 4 or 6, many times 10 minutes after Adam leaves the room and I’m settling back down to sleep. It takes so much self-control to ignore the feelings of frustration and the need to sleep and get up to feed the cooing or screaming child. It takes patience to battle the now wiggly child at drinking his milk or changing his diaper. It takes self-control to save him from his tummy time because he’s still forgotten how to flip to his back. It takes energy to be toting him around all day to run errands, or to always be on the move with him and still try to get the household duties done and give my man a smile when he walks through the door at the end of his stressful or frustrating day at work. It takes endurance to sit through Michael’s screeches because his gums ache, and it takes endurance to figure out what the next form of comfort he is asking for.

Most of all, though, it takes love. Love is the only thing that keeps me going. Love is the foundation to self-control, patience, endurance, and energy. Love is what matters.

My little boy will not remember the house being clean, nor how many things Mommy could get done. He won’t remember all the things she did for him. He won’t remember how much it takes to be a first-time mommy. And he won’t ever know how it feels to be a woman, with all her emotional ups and downs. He will only remember (and this is what I pray for) that I love him. He’s a happy boy because he knows his parents love him. As long as he knows that I love him deeply and am doing ALL these things for him, he will reward me with what he can do with his life after growing up in our house.

This past week and this week have been really rough. I feel the endurance seeping away and the patience just about gone, but I am still hanging on because I love him. Only with God’s help am I getting through this, and only with His help will I be able to be the best mom to my little boy.

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