Madwoman With Bug Killer

Hello, from under a sleeping baby! What does a momma do when she’s stuck like this? Well, waste time on Facebook, mostly. Or a game, because those things are super important. 

But not today! Today, I’m going to tell you how much I hate bugs.

There is no room for tolerance.

A frozen climate sounds amazing when I think of all the creepy crawling things that can’t survive. (Don’t ruin this fantasy for me by telling me about all the other horrible things that comes with an ice planet).

Earlier this week I was spraying the patio down with our regular hose, hoping to get rid of the junk that collects when you’re not outside often enough. I tipped one of our patio chairs over and, lo and behold, a Black Widow came crawling out. I sprayed that evil spider and washed it away, sad that I didn’t kill it. I then got the willies as I finished my now creepy task.

I did what every sensible woman does when finding such a thing, I texted one of my friends for recommendations for a bug killer. I looked at Target and could only find one brand, one type, on clearance (Target-FAIL). To Amazon Prime Now I went, because I needed this bug killer yesterday.

It arrived in the charming paper bags Amazon uses, and I promptly read the directions, determined to be rid of my willies for good.

I left the boys inside, ordered Michael to not take a single step outside because the spray is dangerous, “it could hurt you really bad!”, and went to work. I sprayed down the edges and the corners, soaked the patio furniture, and tried drowning another Black Widow spider with the spray. I was on a mission to rid that patio of all creepy crawling things.

And then I saw a gecko and shrieked like a little schoolgirl.

I may have sprayed him, too.

I can only hope that it was enough to rid the patio of all things evil and creepy. I like sitting out there, but not when I know there are spiderwebs sitting under me, with spiders just waiting to crawl onto my skin and get in my clothes and give me nightmares.


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